A cartoon
A thought
As some of you know, I have been in a slow work mode since January, taking a sabbatical from my business of nearly 28 years. My partner and I run a conservation and restoration business in Canberra, providing consulting and hands-on treatment to art and heritage items, mostly for government clients.
Soon, I will be back to business as usual - except I won’t. I am not going back to work. I am going forward to work. Re-engaging with the work that pays the bills in a new way. In a way, that has much more room for all of me - beyond my identity as a productive unit.
My break (which I made possible by working extra hard for the six months prior and then taking a big pay cut) has been more than I imagined and less at the same time.
I imagined having time for everything I usually can’t fit in. I hoped I would be able to come back to a full workload, reinvigorated and energised. Everything would be on track and organised.
Phew! Expectations eh? They are generally just dangerous :)
On the plus side, my nervous system is much calmer - I think it took 3 months to really feel quieter inside. I got some stuff done that has been annoying me for years. I spent a lot more time with my family and was able to be present to help them navigate some big changes. Li’l Bean came to life and I got brave enough to share them with all of you.
I think the biggest thing I learnt was - LIFE IS FULL JUST WITH THE LIVING. There is not much room for big plans if you are being careful and generous with yourself. Prior to my break, I would often get frustrated at the things I didn’t get to because of all the time I spent at work. Guess what? I still didn’t get to them! I have come to a grudging acceptance that there are only so many hours in the day and moving something forward just an inch has to be counted as a win, especially if it means you had time to rest, to cook a lovely meal, to connect with someone you love - including yourself. Knowing this, I think I can have more patience and forgiveness for myself moving forward.
The break and the quiet have also let me think about the type of work I do and how I want to manage it differently. I realise I am lucky; running my own business lets me make more of the rules than being an employee. The irony is that I worked myself to burnout, and that is entirely my fault (oh, and the systemic indoctrination of MORE).
Going forward to work, I will be stricter about the type of work I say yes to, prioritising jobs with greater flexibility, a higher degree of control and fewer physical demands.
I will aim for lower turnover and a smaller wage - trading a bit of time and space for less money - this six months has shown me that is possible.
I am going to schedule jobs sequentially, not concurrently, to reduce the mental load of managing multiple things at the same time. I am also scheduling in a short break between the end of one job and the start of the next to allow some breather room for admin and a contingency for unexpected problems.
I think the biggest challenge with all my resolutions will be being strong with my boundaries, but I am hoping that now that I know what a calm feeling in my body is actually like, I can use that as a reference point for my decision-making.
So, with my commitment to being reasonable with the demands I place on myself, I will be dropping a L’il Bean post a week. We will pop in your inbox twice a week to say hi. That feels manageable and still fun! I have loved the discipline of regular posting to get me started—this is the 46th post I have drawn and written. That is a consistency I can be proud of. Thank you all for being here and supporting me as we got started on this journey.
How do you all manage your work/life juggle? I don’t think it is a balance - balance implies still, dead and not vital. Life is vital and all the moving parts mean a constant process of readjustment. Have you got any advice for me as I head forward to work? All tips will be gratefully welcomed!
Glimmers and sparks*
My glimmers for today are:
An extra cosy jumper.
A quiet coffee by the fire.
Starting a new back season of Alone - I find this show fascinating. I think I am particularly intrigued to see people wrestle with the mind/body connection - how far we can push with our mind while sacrificing our body. My slow time has made me acutely aware of the cost of that division.
Li’l bean is your reminder to pause and ask: What are your glimmers for today?
From your friend and your small, steadfast companion,
*Drawing Li’l Bean helped me navigate out of a period of depression in 2023. A good friend 13, 595km away, helped, too, through a ritual of swapping daily glimmers via text.
A glimmer is a tiny spark of hope, enthusiasm or joy that lifts your heart. By helping me find three glimmers each day, she gently helped me see the joy and beauty already around me.
I’d like to share this practice with you and invite you to reflect on your glimmers for the day when you read this. Think of Li’l Bean as a reminder to notice the glimmers and sparks in your life. We’d love it if you would like to share your glimmers in the comments or by hitting reply (if you don’t like sharing publicly).
Thanks Matt, so interesting that you have noticed the same things, also that there are so many of us saying we need to do this differently. Thanks for being here!
I love the idea of going forward to work and I'm sure you'll be able to go forward with a renewed sense of both energy and calm. You should feel so proud of the fact that you've completed 46 posts to date – that's a huge achievement! I absolutely love your posts and read every one, and always appreciate your wonderful illustrations too. They are indeed a spark in the dark! :)
I didn't realise you were based in Canberra. We actually arrived here earlier this week after a couple of days of driving through most of NSW! I've just signed up to do the Winter Solstice Nude Swim at sunrise tomorrow in Lake Burley Griffin. I've done two similar Winter Solstice swims at Dark Mofo in Tassie in the past, but I think this one might be the chilliest swim I've ever done, as it's been well below zero at sunrise over the past few days (as I'm sure you know!) Anyway, it's always such a life-affirming thing to do, and I love the idea of washing away the darkness of the past and seeing the swim as a kind of springtime renewal. One bonus of this particular event is that you can also set up a donations page, with 100% of money raised going to Lifeline. The demand for their services has apparently skyrocketed over the past year or so, so it feels like a very worthy reason to get naked and dive into an ice-cold lake!
So, anyway, come down and join me if you're keen and spread the word to other Canberra folk - I think registration ends later today!
https://wintersolsticeswim.com/event-info
And if anyone feels like throwing in a few dollars for Lifeline, this is my fundraising page:
https://wintersolsticenudeswim.gofundraise.com.au/page/SiobhnCostigan